Happy Freakin'
by JackiLeigh
Summary: How Dean Winchester celebrated his birthday this year. I was inspired by an episode preview to start this. I finished it after watching the episode.


HAPPY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY!...TO ME

Dean had spent birthdays alone before. Not many though, and never like this. But he had spent them alone. And he hadn't really minded it, too much. And as much as Dean loved his brother, sometimes he just wanted the day to pass, just like any other day. Sam though, he always managed to 'do something.' Granted, it was never anything huge just a little present; something that the younger Winchester had managed to pick up, without Dean noticing, when they had stopped at a gas station somewhere. Dean grumbled, of course, Sam would have thought something was wrong, if he hadn't. But the elder Winchester was always glad to get his brother's gifts. Dean appreciated the thought, and he loved his brother's practicality, always getting him things that he would need.

And on this day, in particular, he was missing Sam, really missing him. His mind strayed back to how they had spent their birthdays many times, years ago. It was just the two of them. Too many times, unfortunately, John had left them alone on special days like this. John always managed to make up for the absence, somehow. And the brothers always forgave their father. But they never forgot how it felt. How it felt to wish for their dad to be there. How it must feel to have a dad who bought birthday cakes. How it must feel to have a dad who threw birthday parties. How it felt to have a mom. A regular old mom who baked birthday cakes and planned and threw birthday parties. One was there to see her little boys grow up.

Sam and Dean had wished, many times, that John would just drop whatever it was he was doing and come and be with them. They wished that he would just make them his top priority once, just once. But, it didn't happen. John didn't miss all their birthdays. But he missed them often enough for Sam and Dean to assume that John would, most likely, miss their next.

Dean closed his eyes and leaned back against the cold wall of his prison cell. He missed his brother. Sam would never forget his birthday. Sam would get him something practical. And he would always insist on a hug and then his would give Dean one of his big goofy smiles. Dean would never admit it to anybody. But, that was probably the best part of it all. He was missing Sam's goofy grin this year. But, he could not help but grin and shake his head at the memory.

Dean's mind kept drifting to Sam. Sam didn't smile a lot. He had not had a lot to smile about over the years. To being with, the kid had not had a good relationship with John. Then he lost Jessica in the worst way possible, and, of course, there was everything since. So on those rare times Sam smiled, it made Dean feel like he had finally done something right where his little brother was concerned.

But, the elder Winchester didn't know where his brother was. He didn't know if Sam was in the next cell, down the hall, or even if he was in the same building. Dean didn't like it. He didn't like not knowing where Sam was. He didn't like not knowing where he was. It was just too much. He paced his cell and marked the days, digging into the softened cement on his wall with a piece of metal he had removed from his cot.

He paced the floor. He slept, and he thought. He had no way to get himself or his brother out of this. If Sam was even still here and still alive, that was. The elder brother was beginning to think the only way either of them would get out would be feet first. And he didn't like that thought, especially with Billy the Reaper jonesing for his soul. He wanted to avoid death. He didn't want to leave Sam alone to fight. He didn't want to leave his mom. And he didn't want to leave Castiel.

Dean had had weeks to think about it, six in fact. He needed to do something to get them out of there, wherever and whatever 'there' was. The elder Winchester knew, from the few visitors that he had gotten, that they didn't mind using torture. The 'they' was a little uncertain. Dean was getting the impression that these people were not a part of the U.S. Government. And, if they were a part of the government, they were a radical part. Torture, under usual circumstances, was reserved for enemies of the state, not citizens. These people seemed to be quite willing to inflict pain on anyone at any time. And that made Dean even more concerned for Sammy's general welfare.

Of course, Dean was no stranger to being tortured. He had been tortured by some of the best. He had learned to torture from the best. While he didn't enjoy either prospect, at least, if that was what was ahead for him, he would know what to expect.

As time went on, Dean saw himself with few options. He would have to make a deal. He sighed and thought of Billie the Reaper. He would give her the only thing he had that she really, really wanted. He would give his soul so that Sam could live and continue the fight.

 **The End**

 **FYI:** **This fic was started based on the weekly previews. I had not seen the actual show when I started it.** **I have since watched the show,** **But, I have decided to go on with the fic because of Dean's Birthday.** **Happy Belated Birthday, Dean Winchester.**


End file.
